Exhaustion Evangelism

Hi- A couple days ago we received a visit from John and Mary with their cute little twin boys who were born around the same time as Jackson at the same hospital he was.

What was initially an exhausting experience, God used to bring some beautiful friends into our lives whom we can hopefully keep discipling and sharing the love of Christ with. Even more, hopefully Jackson can grow up with a fun set of twins that he can laugh and play with, and get into all kinds of adventures with.

After the birth of our little boy, Jackson had really high red blood cells, and so we needed to stay with him at a special care unit in the hospital for 3 days until his sugar levels were normalized and he would wake up enough for Alejandra to feed him.

Being in that loud room of monitors and bright lights with about 40 other babies and their parents for like 72 hours was so tiring, and we just wanted to get back home and hold little Jackson without all those IV tubes. Neither Alejandra nor I were sleeping very well, and Alejandra was still in a delicate state of recovery, but then we would look around and notice that there were a bunch of other parents who were going through the same thing that we were, or even worse.

Alejandra and I would especially always say hi to John and Mary, whose children were born prematurely, and I would keep an eye out for the twins whenever their parents had to go back home and I would send them texts letting them know that the nurses and doctors were doing a great job of monitoring their boys. I also invited them out to eat a couple times, just so the 3 of us could get a breath of fresh air and nourish our weak bodies, after hours and hours of just sitting there in uncomfortable chairs in the hospital.

We stayed in touch, and one night I dropped by their house to say hello and pray with them.

I've also gone back a couple more times to drop off some baby stuff and see how they're doing, and now we also had the joy of receiving their visit in our home. Both the twins and their parents and some of their extended family have all told us that they want to go to church with us on January the 5th (well, the baby twins didn't actually say that since they don't even know how to speak yet, but you get the idea).

The other day Alejandra and I had to go back to the hospital since Ále was feeling a bit sick, and on the way out, we put little Jackson in the hospital's manger scene and took a picture of him leaning against a cow haha... On Christmas I sent the picture to John and 3 other dads who all had their babies around the same time and at that same hospital that we did, and they all laughed and thought it was pretty clever... Here's to hoping that those parents will join us for church on the 5th of January as well, and if so - we are definitely going to pack that nursery out man... hallelujah!

Happy New Year, Sam and Alejandra Missionary Profile:

Phileo Stands For Friends

Heeeey there everybody! Sorry/not sorry for taking so long to let you guys know about the birth of our son... Praise God everything seems to be very good. Alejandra is recovering steadily, as Jackson Phileo Killins Muñoz is crying and growing and sleeping and eating like a champ... It was amazing for me to see and hold him for the first time, and cry just about as much as he did, and sing to him, as I praised God because of him. My heart is divided as I care so much for Alejandra, and also care so much about Jackson... Honestly, I haven't been able to process that mix of emotions very well (especially as I add to it - that terrible tendency of always thinking about myself, and realizing that now Alejandra also has her heart divided)... It tore me up to see Alejandra suffer so much while I knew that I couldn't suffer with her in the same way while she was giving birth... And then on top of that, to love our boy so much, knowing that he caused my wife so much pain... I look at little Jackson and hold him and love him and then I feel this huge sense of curiosity as to who he is?... It's like I want to know him, and then I remember that it's up to Alejandra and I to teach him and train him, even while we also just want to let him be himself.

There's this other super weird emotion that I'm feeling - and it has to do with all of you. In one sense Alejandra and I want to share our joy with everyone, but in another, we don't want to flaunt Jackson around. We know that some people really love us, and we want to honor you, but I know that I often fail at doing so (I'm sorry, will you please forgive me?)... We don't want to hurt anyone, as we know there are many who would like to be blessed with marriage and children but aren't - and then there are many who are suffering a lot more than we are - and it's like, "man, that's not fair" ...I wish I knew how to better empathize with people, and I never want to come off as being arrogant... I also don't want Alejandra or Jackson to be hurt by anyone, and I always want to protect them ...I know a bunch of people don't care about anything I say, and that's fine; and then there are those who really do care, and that's awesome... Even still, there are some who read what I write to try and find fault with me, and that's fine too - as long as you say who you are, and you talk with me about it before you talk to others; or as long as you don't start swinging punches and then run away and act like nothing ever happened.

Anyway, sometimes you could look at the Killins family and see how far we fall short, and other times you could look at us and see how loving God is, and how, especially in our weakness, God's grace is sufficient, and His power is made perfect.

Some of the first people I contacted once Jackson was born (after our immediate families) were our friends in Venezuela and the church in Cucuta... Despite the struggles that many of our Venezuelan friends face - it was awesome to share our joy with them, and see how they selflessly rejoiced with us. This last Sunday I preached on 2 Corinthians 11 (and I said it then, and I'll say it now) - it's crazy to me that Alejandra and I can get away with 'robbing' individuals and churches in the States and Scotland - all for the benefit of churches and friends in South America whom the majority of you guys don't even know (v. 8)... Alejandra has been very kind to let me get away on Sundays and go to two different churches, as I try to keep serving as best I can... I can't wait for Alejandra to join me again, and for Jackson to meet all our friends.

Both our immediate families have been really helpful and attentive to us here in Bogota, and it's been super cool to have my sister Suse and my niece Aliyah here to accompany us and teach us how to take care of our new-born.

The little snuggle munchkin is pretty cute and calm and comparable to Alejandra in a lot of ways (praise God!) but he does have some pretty sweet sideburns - just like me.

Merry Christmas, Sam, Alejandra, and Jackson Killins Missionary Profile:

Baby Showers* (I mean waterfalls)

Hello hello! Alejandra is in her 36th week of pregnancy and she's doing great.

I'm so proud of her, and we're both really excited to make it to the end of this month to see and hold our sweet baby boy.

One of the things that's amazing to me about this process is how delicate it is, yet how supportive our friends and family are in the midst of it.

To be honest, sometimes I feel like I'm the one that's the most clueless as to how to help my better half, so I really need to get after it, and start cramming for the big day.

Alejandra and I have gone to a few classes together where we've received valuable teaching about how to navigate this awesome adventure.

And our friends have been so generous in equipping us with all sorts of useful baby stuff as well as super cute baby clothes.

We Don't Talk About Politics

Hello - Alejandra and I decided to travel to the States before the Venezuelan elections just because the situation seemed pretty delicate... It still is kind of, so we prolonged our trip a little more, but that hasn't necessarily slowed us down in ministry.

The only thing that slowed us down in ministry was hanging out with my nephew Kaleb, as he got me hooked on the A Quiet Place trilogy.

The three movies that we binged on are basically post-apocalyptic horror films about different people who survive in the midst of an alien take over, and in classic horror film fashion - it taught us about all sorts of wonderful things such as: family unity, family love, family sacrifice, obedience towards our parents, resourcefulness, urgency, logic, creativity, sensitivity, perseverance, friendship, love towards pizza, and last of all but not least - how to stay silent!

While watching all 3 of these lovely movies about psycho monsters eating up humans at any moment that anyone made any noise, I must say that a part of me identified with the vulnerable characters as they tried to uphold this terrible principle: The principle that if you want to survive in this world - sometimes it's better just to keep your mouth shut... That's a tough one for me, but anyway, what was super inspiring for us was the fact that somehow there was a woman in the film who gave birth to a baby in a basement in a silent enough manner so as to keep both herself and her new born baby alive! (wow) ...Naturally however, the husband wasn't quite as fortunate, as he got eaten up while he screamed out (and simultaneously said in sign language) that he loved both his deaf and non-deaf kids.

As a Colombian/ partially American couple living in Venezuela - Alejandra and I don't have anything to say about the political situation there... Talking about that can only get us in trouble, so why would we do that?

I took the above pic at the entrance to Venezuela, and it says, "we don't talk bad about Chavez."

This next pic is interesting because I'm sure that on November 5th it won't be relevant anymore, but yeah... Whenever I would see it, I always thought it was a somewhat funny way to communicate to Biden, as if he ever happened to be walking around Venezuela and then arbitrarily stumbled across this sign and read, "Biden - lift the sanctions now!" and so then he would be like, "okay, well, since you asked politely."

And then there's this one - where it's remarkable how the truth can get reversed in such a way so that all the main opponents of the dictatorship are actually declared "the sanctions train" as if whoever put the sign up was trying to say that if they never tried to do anything to bring about change, well then Venezuela never would have been sanctioned to begin with!

Instead we have this one, where Mr. Nick is seen as a tender man embracing a lady on the street promising "more change and transformation"... Like what kind of change are we talking about again?

Anyway - as I said before, the way to get by in Venezuela is by not talking about politics... Instead, we can pray, and post really neutral pictures on social media.

I suppose it goes the same for US politics, but yes - speaking your mind out is a right defended by the American constitution.

Anyway, it was really cool recently to see my Venezuelan friends in the above pic here in the land of the free.

We also got to meet up with Elisa - one of Alejandra's and my Venezuelan immigrant friends, that like so many, has made the arduous trip up Central America and into the States in hopes of a better life.

Some friends and I made a documentary about her back in 2018, even as she was starting out her journey as an immigrant. You can check it out at this link if you like: I mentioned her in a message I gave in Denver the Sunday before last

And just this last Sunday she went and visited that same church in Denver herself

So yeah - even though I'm apathetic about politics (or at least I'm not willing to die for what I think about the situation either here in the States or back home in Venezuela) - Alejandra and I are still very much in favor of speaking the truth of God's Word wherever we go.

Just like in A Quiet Place, there's monsters that will eat you up for talking about the Bible as well - but that's not a responsibility and joy that we're willing to give up... But politics? ...maybe yes.

Sam and Alejandra Missionary Profile: