Judging Others

skit we performed in the San Jose youth group back in 2010 

Let's get real for a second.

Fact #1 - there is such a thing as right and wrong.

Fact #2 - we're all inconsistent in our lives in one way or another.

Fact #3 - judging is REALLY risky business.

Fact #4 - churches should be concerned with morality.

I fully believe that everything I just said in the above list is completely true, but with reference to fact #4, I find the question of how? to be super complex.

On the one hand, I explained in my last entry that we shouldn't teach "cheap grace"; and on the other hand, I know that if I'm trying to reach non-Christian young adults, or if I've already started a church with new believers who have somewhat "morally complicated lives"... well - let's just say that things can, and will probably (and actually most definitely) at some point get a little gnarly (or in most cases really gnarly).

So for starters, let me just say that there are two huge differences that need to be taken into account in this discussion: 1 - how we perceive and approach anyone outside the church, and 2 - how we work with and tenderly correct anyone within the church.

I honestly don't believe that it's worthwhile to tell everyone outside the church who is in sin that they need to change, or to try and make them understand that what they are doing is wrong, or to somehow disassociate ourselves with them because of their incorrect lifestyle. Rather, what we need to emphasize is that we've all failed and have been crippled by sin, and that because of it, life is really messed-up, but there's a remedy, and it has come in the person of Jesus Christ who actually really loves sinners, and with whom he not only associated with, but also found his whole life purpose in giving us the opportunity to be forgiven through his death, no matter what.

That's the main point that needs to be talked about with our friends (and even enemies) that aren't part of the church... or in other words, who aren't Christians.

Agreed?

I really hope so, because the idea of judging people who aren't in the faith, and telling them that who they are is wrong (or telling other Christian friends to stay away from them because they're wrong) - I don't know man - I mean doing so is liable to turn us into something like arrogant, irrelevant, judgmental, hypocrites (even though I do understand the danger in being 100% tolerant of everything, and becoming desensitized towards sin, as well as being overpowered by it).        

But, what about for those who are a part of the church but are blatantly living in sin?

Well, let me give you a real-life, unfiltered, really-complicated situation:

The first guy I ever baptized in my life is a guy named Elkin.

I met Elkin while he was living with his girlfriend with whom he has a daughter, and sure enough - after hanging out with him for a while and studying the Bible together - he decided to put his trust in Christ.

I baptized him, because I view baptism as the symbol of salvation - that in Jesus we have died to our selves and been buried with Christ in his death and resurrected through him in his life... I didn't baptize him to say that he is morally perfect in every sense, and that he has his whole life together - but it is to say that he has been justified (legally declared perfect or righteous in God's sight because of Christ, irrespective of his good works or even his recurrent tendency towards sin), and that he's now a new creation.

That's what I was saying when I baptized him (or better said that's what he was saying as he got baptized), and yet here's the catch: now after 4 years have passed (and as he's matured, and grown in his knowledge of Christ, and brought other members of his extended family to the Lord); still, he has not officially gotten married to his girlfriend either by state or church standards (even though they do live together and their relationship has been flourishing a lot).

So that's really awkward because 1: he's a poor role model to young believers; 2: he's a bad testimony to unbelieving outsiders; and 3: he's a bad example to his daughter who may be inclined to think that a lifelong commitment before God, the state, and your friends and family members towards the person you love and desire to live with, is unnecessary.

And that's not all right.

It's not all right, and so the church needs to do something about it.

At the same time though, it's clear that his involvement in the church has benefited him, his family, and other members of the church significantly (including myself), and by 1: forcing him to get married we run the risk of embittering him and having him do something against his will; by 2: judging him all the time and incessantly talking about the issue could make us seem more interested in him signing a paper and going through with an official ceremony than in seeing him grow deeper in love with his girlfriend and daughter; and by 3: dismissing him from the church we are effectively handing him over to the devil who is extremely powerful, and could very well even go so far as to physically take his life away from him (1 Cor. 5:5).

So that's some pretty serious stuff, isn't it?

What's ironic is that many other people who I know from San Jose that at one point were actively involved in the church there, have voluntarily handed themselves over to the devil in a sense, when they arbitrarily decided to leave the church out of their own volition... that reality should sadden us so much, and we should lovingly aim to do all that we can to get them back.

And what's tough in Elkin's case, is that I honestly think that the most Biblically logical way to deal with the situation, is to tell him that he can't come to our meetings until he repents, thereby showing him the supreme importance of needing to be serious about this issue, while fervently praying for him to follow through with the act - and to once again find restoration among us once he has (2 Cor. 2:6-8).

But even better than that, is that I think we should hope and do everything we can to encourage them to separate by mutual consent for a time (1 Cor. 7:5), while still letting them be active within the church, and hoping that in the mean time they would be compelled to officially get married.

Obviously, the way we go about this, and the way we talk about it has to be extremely tactful and loving and sensitive, but I honestly don't think that just having more patience will solve the issue... Even though everything inside of me wishes that I and the elders from the church in San Jose wouldn't have to do this - I think it's time that we be a little more radical about the issue; and hope that God in his infinite grace will work the situation out for his glory.

...And so there's an example of really complicated religion.

However, in going about it (and in relation to EVERY form of judgement), I find Jon Foreman's words concerning religion really apt, so as to keep us in check, when he says the following in his song, "The World You Want" from his Fading West album:

What you say is your religion,

How you say it - your religion,

Who you love is your religion,

How you love is your religion,

All your science - your religion,

All your hatred - your religion,

All your wars are your religion,

Every breath is your religion, yeah.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Believe it or not, according to the British weekly newspaper The Economist, in 2012, Colombia was said to have the lowest percentage of marriages in the world

http://www.eltiempo.com/gente/ARTICULO-WEB-NEW_NOTA_INTERIOR-12587116.html